favorite lyrics of the day

from Sunshine, Lil' Flip (feat. Lea)

I need a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets
That know how to cook cause a nigga like to eat
Spaghetti, shrimp and steak and I'll adore you
I'll treat you like milk, I'll do nothing but spoil you

isn't letting milk spoil kind of irresponsible?

et tu, Amazon?

Today I was doing a little fake shopping and took a trip to Amazon.com to look at things I will  never buy, it's like window shopping, only without the benefit exercise.  The fine folks of Amazon surprised me because the first page I landed on (when signed in under my Amazon account) was my Plog.  Plog? What? I never posted anything on Amazon.  Oh, I see, since they track everything I look at, click on, put on my wish list, purchase or even dream about they seem to think they know me well enough to create a blog, sorry, plog, for little ol' me!

I can't think of anything more exciting and informative than marketing blurbs disguised as blog postings created by Amazon... telling me what they think I think will be interesting.  Here's how they explain the Plog:

The Plog™ Service is a personalized blog. A blog is a straightforward and now widely adopted method of posting a reverse chronological diary on the Internet.
Your Amazon.com Plog is a diary of events that will enhance your shopping experience, helping you discover products that have just been released, track changes to your orders, and many other things. Just like a blog, your Plog is sorted in reverse chronological order. When we think we have something interesting or important to tell you, we'll post it to your Plog.
(They also have a list of 15 blogs which they describe as "some of the best and most popular blogs", go on and check it out, you know you want to.)

Enhance my shopping experience? I can think of some better things to enhance, but okay Amazon... try me.

A mysterious Amazon blogger (a.k.a. computer) posts on random days telling me what newly released item I would like to buy (a book which is already on my Wish List) because of what I have already purchased (a book I bought as a gift three years ago). Anonymous Amazon blogger then gives me all sorts of pertinent information on the product they are sure I would love to purchase. At the bottom of each post there are two handy little bubbles, which are located where the comments are on most blogs, and these bubbles give me the option to let Amazon know if this post was helpful or not. Wait a minute! Isn't this MY Plog? If my name is on this Plog shouldn't everything be helpful?  Oh, okay, I have a little control here...  if I so desire I can clear any post. Just delete it with one swift click of the "clear post" link.   I cannot create a post, only anonymous blogger can do that.  Corinne's Plog is written by someone else.  I do not feel enhanced.  My experience is not improved.

I find the entire idea of this Plog pretty ominous.  To be honest, Amazon already creeped me out because of their uber tracking powers, but the Plog took it one step too far.  It's basically the equivalent to some dude following me around a store with a dogeared note pad and chewed up pencil.  He hides at the end of aisles and waits until I pick something up,  then he takes dirty reading glasses out of his rumpled suit jacket pocket and makes a note of which item I've chosen and how long it's been in my hand.  He licks the end of his pencil and nods in a slow methodical fashion.  I put the item down, and notice something out of the corner of my eye.  He scurries behind a bookcase and scribbles some more.  I continue to shop, he secretly follows.  This goes on all day.  Later that night I find an envelope has been slipped under my door.  Inside this envelope is a neatly typed note, kindly letting me know that there may have been some items I overlooked in the store I visited that day. At the bottom of the letter, following suggestions for future purchases, are carefully drawn pie charts and bar graphs.  I break out in a cold sweat as I crumple the letter and carefully look around.  I hear an evil laugh followed by "see you around!" and then the sound of fleeting footsteps.  I am forever tainted and know that I can never recklessly window shop again.

happy birthday, Sean!

fell off the wagon

It's sad, but true. I fell into a some sort of stupor and checked those damn message boards again. Those brides... every time I think I'm done with them, their siren song lures me in and I take a walk down that dark tunnel of no return. It's a very slippery slope. I recently read all about a bride who cancelled her wedding with only 99 days to go. I got all the 411 about what to do when your future mother in law refuses to wear a dress to the wedding, but a jacket and slacks instead. The horror!

But I also did find this very special list and I would like to share it with you:

AW = "Attention Whore"
BC, BCP = birth control, birth control pills
BF = Boyfriend or Best Friend
BM = Bridesmaid or Best Man
BP = Bridal Party
DF = Dear (or darned, or dratted) Fiancé
DH = Dear Husband
E-ring = engagement ring
E-party = engagement party
FG = Flower Girl
FI = Fiancé (male) or Fiancée (female)
FIL = Father In Law
FILs = Future in-laws, sometimes referred to as:
FBIL = Future Brother-in-law
FFIL = Future Father-in-law
FMIL = Future Mother-in-law
FSIL = Future Sister-in-law
GF = Girlfriend
GM = Groomsmen
GTG = a Knottie get-together
HM = Honeymoon
HTH = Hope this helps
IHO = In Honor Of
ILs = In-laws
IMHO = In my humble opinion
IMNSHO = In my not so humble opinion
JK = just kidding, or joking
JP = Justice of the Peace
LMAO = Laughing my @ss off
LOL = Laughing out loud
LTBM = Living together before marriage
MIL = Mother In Law
MOH = Maid / Matron of Honor
MS = Martha Stewart
NFP = natural family planning
NFT = No Further Text
NMS = Not my style
NWMT = Not worth my time
NWR = Not Wedding Related
OMG = Oh my gosh / god
P&E = Planning and Etiquette board
PIB = Pictures in Bio
PSA = Public Service Announcement
RB = Ring Bearer
RD = Rehearsal Dinner
RP = Repost
SAHM = stay-at-home mom
SAHW = stay-at-home wife
SBD = South Beach Diet
STDs = Save The Date cards
TIA = Thanks In Advance
TMI = Too Much Information
TROLL = Someone posting a fake question or a nasty reply to get a reaction
TTC = Trying to conceive
TY = Thank you
WP = wedding party
WW = Weight Watchers
XP = Cross posted (posted to more than one board)

Attention Whore? I didn't know there was such a whore. Fabulous! Where can I get one?
But what I really love is the fact that if you want everyone to mark their calendars for your special day you better make sure that each person on your guest list gets your STDs ASAP.

these dreams

I guess I watch more reality TV than I ought to.

Last night I had a dream in which I was on a new reality show. I had to live on a boat with Ashton Kutcher, P Diddy, Alexis Bledel, Nick Lachey and my very own sweetheart, Alex.

It was a large boat, yacht-like, and we were collectively supposed to figure out how to get this boat from wherever we were to an island off the coast of somewhere. This boat was huge and I remember thinking that we wouldn't have enough gas. I complained about gas a lot. No one listened. Cameras caught me acting like this. I knew I was going to look bad.

Everyone was pretty excited and instead of thinking about gas (or how to steer the boat) they all decided to inspect the digs. I gave in (there's that peer pressure again!) and while we were checking out every nook and cranny of our new living quarters, the boat careened into a rock and suffered a big ol' hole in the front. Diddy and Ashton went to check it out, but only Alex and Nick would swim down to look at the hole. Alexis and I stood on the deck and bonded. Eventually, somehow, the hole got fixed, but not before Ashton decided to bail. As he thought about how potentially hazardous the rest of the trip could be he realized he could still see the main land and swam to safety. Then there were five.

All things back to normal, we had a big party with champagne and everything. Alex got pretty drunk and passed out in our brand new boat bedroom. Instead of breathing, or even snoring, he was burping. Burp in, burp out, like breathing, but much more obnoxious. I couldn't sleep in there with him, so I decided to bunk in one giant bed with P. Diddy and Alexis. They were happy to accommodate me until burpy Alex came in and tried to puke on my face. I put the sheet over my face before I saw any vomit and then woke up.

Wouldn't that have made some compelling reality TV? There's nothing like watching a boring control freak bitch out celebrities who don't give a rat's ass about how much gas is in a boat! How exciting is it to watch someone puke on their own wife?

As it turns out, Alex alerted me to the fact that our cat was actually retching in the hallway during this dream. Not so compelling now, is it?

happy birthday, Rachel!

I scream, you scream, we all scream for FOUR BEAN (salad)

Shopping at Costco is a favorite past time of mine, it takes courage and skill to navigate those aisles with an oversized carriage. It takes years of training to lift that 25 pound bag of frozen stuff and get it in the cart without crushing the 85 hamburger buns you just put in there. It takes willpower to pass up giant boxes of pens.

I went to Costco by myself before the 4th of July, which is odd for me, because ever since Alex and I got married he's been my Costco buddy. Our vows stated that we would always stand side by side, especially in warehouse situations. He was busy though, and I had to go it alone. Alone, for me, sometimes involves bad decisions.

This solo trip to Costco brought about what I like to call the four bean salad incident. I bought a jar of four bean salad. I like the bean salad. I like it so much that I figured everyone would like it. I bought a half gallon worth of beans.

That delicious bean salad proudly sat on the kitchen table for our lame barbecue on the 4th, and that's all it did. It remained covered in it's pretty little Corningware dish, untouched for hours. At one point I lifted the cover and toyed with the idea of scooping some on to my plate, but then a victim of peer pressure, I joined the masses and made fun of my own beloved four bean salad. I mocked the beans which I hold so dear.

Now I am stuck with a half gallon of this stuff and I've been eating it all week. I've hardly made a dent in it. At this point I'm making an ass of myself and only eating it to spite everyone; I'll show them how wonderfully scrumptious these beans are! How foolish they were to walk away from such greatness! I brought it to lunch yesterday and made a point to comment on how YUMMY the four bean salad was. People looked in my general direction and nodded. Today I ate lunch at my desk and felt the sinking shame of falling out of love with my salad.

So I am left with the following questions: how do I just let all that bean salad go? and, does anyone want some four bean salad?

ladies' night

Sometimes Wednesday night is Ladies' Night with Julianne and Molly. Last night was one of those nights, and it included drinks and tapas followed by a movie. I'm not going to write about the movie today because it got me a little depressed. And I'm not sure if it made me feel better or worse to get home and open a letter from John Kerry asking for money, because "The success of our campaign depends on having a strong and active group of supporters." (Can I be a supporter even if I don't send you 25 bucks? Will you really lose without my money?)

But I did have a good time being out and about on a school night. If there was ever a sure sign of being in my 30s, I think that having a designated evening called "Ladies' Night" might be the appropriate milestone, and I'm okay with that.

Since I'm not going to write about the movie, I will instead tell you all about a few of the people attending the movie. It was a sold out show, and even with new fancy pants stadium seating it can seem a little cramped in the theatre. I don't mind not having a buffer seat though, because isn't it always a new adventure to sit next to a complete stranger? You never know what's going to happen! Here's the first thing I heard from the gentlemen to my right (who were obviously together):

Tall Dude: I think I have to go to the bathroom.
Bitter Dude: So you want me to moooove?
Tall Dude: Unless you want me to piss in your face.

Bitter Dude moves his legs and allows Tall Dude to pass. Tall Dude awkwardly squeezes through the aisle without allowing sufficient time for me to move my legs, Molly to lift her bag or Julianne to get her foot out of the way. He steps over the last two people in the row.

As he's leaving for the restroom Young Couple (frantically looking for seats together) spots two seats together in our row; one of the seats is still warm from Tall Dude, the other seat is the buffer seat for Tall Dude, to separate him from the unworthy throng. But there is a bonus third seat in our row (to the left of Julianne) and if Dudes would move one measly seat over to the right then Julianne, Molly and I could all move over, and Young Couple would be ever so grateful. Since Bitter Dude refuses to acknowledge Young Couple hoping to sit together, Julianne and Molly explain the situation to Girl of Young Couple. I then turn to Bitter Dude and ask if he would move down a seat, to which he responds (with his mouth full of peanut M&Ms) "well, my friend isn't here, so I can't speak for him, or ask him." Molly and I laugh. Bitter Dude continues to shove M&Ms into his angry little mouth. Before Tall Dude even returns to make the all important decision about the seat to his right, the other half of our row moves to the left, obliterating Tall Dude's buffer seat. Girl of Young Couple shrugs and sits next to Julianne. She turns around and makes sad face to Guy of Young Couple 3 rows away.

Tall Dude returns, without stepping on anyone this time, because we all stand up. The movie starts. Bitter Dude eats the most epic bag of M&Ms ever, taking them from the crinkling bag ONE. AT. A. TIME. For the entire length of the movie.

I think it might have been better if Tall Dude had just pissed in Bitter Dude's face after all.

I tried to be patriotic, I really did

but the Bay Area just is not a fun place for the 4th of July. Last year Alex and I walked out to the extremely windy and cold Albany Waterfront Park and sat on some cement blocks which sucked any remaining heat out of our bodies. We saw 5 different firework shows, but I admit that I spent some of my time on that cement block slightly cranky and very cold. The bottle of wine we brought with us helped to create a little artificial warmth and the fireworks cheered me up, but having grown up in Boston always leaves me to expect more on the 4th than drinking mediocre wine on a landfill while watching very distant explosives.

In my attempt to be All American for a day I bought and consumed too much food, because isn't that what Americans are best known for? Apart from the food front we had a pretty unpatriotic day. Our 4th felt more like a rainy Sunday afternoon get together than a barbecue. The typical July chill of our close-to-the-water neighborhood kept us indoors for most of the day, the time I spent on our patio was to warm my hands and lower back by the gas grill. To keep our guest amused indoors we ended up playing a lot of Eye Toy and watching some Tenacious D.

Around 7:00 the real crappy weather rolled in. Our plan was to walk down to the park (like last year) and see what we could see. When everyone started to hear of these plans it got real quiet-like. Half of the group made the wise choice to head to back to their warm homes and drink tea. The other half of us bundled up and pessimistically headed to the park.

Once we got the beach we could feel the cold mist on our faces and the closer we got to the water the wind picked up. Greg had made the comment earlier that the Albany Bulb seemed like a "tetanus-y" place to watch fireworks... and he was right, it was a little sketchy finding somewhere for 5 of us to sit, but as it turned out it didn't really matter where we sat, because there wasn't anything to see. We were able to make out faint colors and shapes of fireworks in the Jack London Square area, but the Berkeley Marina fireworks merely turned the cloud cover sad shades of green and red. Forget about San Francisco or Marin. Twenty five minutes on the cement blocks and we gave up.

To make our day seem like it was more fun than it actually was, I give you these dynamic Eye Toy photos.

worst lunch ever

my sandwich sucked so bad today that as I sat at the lunch table in the park, surrounded by coworkers, I couldn't help but give it the finger.

the worst part is that I made that sandwich myself.

kick this one here for me and my d.j.

I’m not sure if it’s just my luck, or my taste in films, but the movie on the flight home is never as good as the movie on the flight to my vacation location. So when I was tortured with Dirty Dancing, Havana Nights on my way to Boston I figured the curse might be broken and the flight back to San Francisco would have some magical movie in store for me. But all that awaited me was Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London. Sadly, I watched a fair amount of it, because the screen kept taunting me with action scenes, and it was not good. I will go so far as to say it was indeed very bad.

What proved to be more interesting than the movie was, well, everything. But a few things in particular made my flight stellar:

*the entire row to myself

*channel 7 on American Airlines delighted me with stylings from the Beastie Boys, De La Soul, LL Cool J (So forget oreos, eat cool J cookies, he’s BAAAAD!), and MC Lyte (doin her thing with an '89 swing). Now that's some good music. I listened to the whole cycle twice.

*I used my laptop to watch some of the most excellent Tenacious D DVD.

*and I always request a window seat so I can see stuff like this

first live on location post!

Reporting live from Cambridge, participating in Jamie's yard sale. (Free coffee and WiFi!) I'm staying with Lisa and Ben and they brought some of their unwanted goods by, hoping to make some money and gain a little space. There's nothing like a yard sale to purge your closets and basements with the bonus of perhaps leaving with a little extra cash.

This yard sale is not so much like our yard sale; it seems like all of Cambridge likes to get up late on Sundays. Today's sale started at 10 and we didn't have our first customer until somewhere around 11. (In Berkeley we had our first customer at 8:15, as we were unloading the car.) Today we were planning to go until 2, but I think Jamie is debating on a possible extension, because there's a lot of stuff left and someone has to want it eventually, right? Lisa is at the point where she'll actually take a dollar for anything. But with the Red Sox game starting pretty soon, I think we might have to have to admit defeat and pack it up.

At any rate we're eating hot dogs, drinking beer, and I get to sit on the front stoop and write this, so at least we're having a good time. If only someone would come and cart all this crap away for a dollar... Ben just suggested we set it all on fire.

Jamie surveys the crap


Ben and Lisa (pre sale)


glassware at sale

only on a plane

Here I am in Boston... Cambridge to be exact. On Wednesday I took a flight from SFO to Boston. I take this flight a few times a year and I’m pretty used to sitting in one place for 5 hours, but I still don’t like it. The first few times I sat on that epic flight were like torture, I remember one time in particular where I put my tray table down and just dropped my head on it and wept softly for about 2 hours. That might have been the time I was sitting beside the freakishly loud snoring man and in front of the kicking champion of the universe. The flight on Wednesday was not that bad. It was actually kind of weird, because the pros and the cons pretty much cancelled each other out. Here are some examples of the bad and good:

I was sitting in row 13, the only row without a window, but there were only two of us in the row, leaving that bonus middle seat.

The guy sitting in the seat diagonally behind me kept knocking my raised arm rest down onto my elbow, but the 9 year old directly behind me never once kicked my chair.

The 4 year old 3 seats away from me never stopped screaming and whining, but there were three very tiny babies on the flight who never made a peep.

The meal that was served came with a big helping of iceberg lettuce, but the cheese tortellini was actually pretty decent.

My laptop battery ran out of juice while I was watching a DVD of Six Feet Under, however the in flight movie had just started at that same exact time.

The in flight movie was Dirty Dancing Havana Nights, luckily the TV for my section of the cabin was broken.

I shall now call it the mediocre flight, because just when things started to take a turn for the worst I realized that the potential for "worst" was actually never fulfilled. But I did get a little bored, so I admit that I craned my neck just ever so slightly I so could watch a little of that horrible in flight movie. And even though it was one of the most pitiful movies I've ever seen, Patrick Swayze gives quite the performance in there, and that almost made me smile.

why it's neat to have an optometrist around

check out these rad glasses that Alex brought home.




like a mini telescope for my eye

the downward spiral into uncool (complete with audio links!)

I try very diligently to keep up with pop culture. I do this because not only do I find it fairly amusing but I also remember sitting in an English class in my junior year of high school and listening to my teacher lament about how she wasn't hip anymore. Her first mistake was using the word hip. She wasn't old, but when she said "hip" my brain immediately went in the direction of hip replacement. She told us that she always thought she would be able to keep up with the current trends and know all the top 40 music, but one day she let it all get away from her and found it too overwhelming to get back in. And that was it, after that she was forever stuck in a world of easy listening and a wardrobe from Talbots.
From that day forward I swore that I would never stop listening to current music and I would never wear blazers. And I've done okay, at least I've stayed away from blazers (but I did have a bout with button down sweaters). The music, well, I try, I really do. But sometimes it's so hard to take. Here it comes, and I never thought I would say this, but a lot of that music sounds like noise to me.

Grandma? Is that you?

In my attempt to stay afloat in the sea of all things contemporary I listen to iTunes every morning while I get ready. I actually tune into an unpatriotic Canadian channel called Hitzradio. They play the latest Beyonce, Britney, Black Eyed Peas... etc.. I feel that about an hour a day keeps me up to date. But that hour is usually all I can take. There's a handful of pretty decent songs, but then you get throw in some Usher and Mis-Teeq and I'm out. The first time I heard Usher's Yeah! I was in the other room and I thought I kept hearing a phone ringing, I was going crazy trying to figure out where this phone was. But then I realized it was just part of the song, somewhere in that mix there's a phone ringing. over and over. Upon hearing this I discovered how easy it would be to give up the top 40 music, because the sound of that fucking phone annoyed the hell out of me. Then add Usher "singing":

Up in the club wit my homies, trying to get a lil V-I
Keep it down on the low key
You should know how it feels
I seen shorty she was checking up on me
From the game she was spitting in my ear
You would think that she knew me
I decided to cheat
Conversation got heavy!
She had me feeling like she's ready to blow!
Oh! (watch out!!) She's saying "come get me!"
So I got up and followed her to the floor
She said "baby let's go"

Upon hearing those lyrics I found myself shaking my head in disbelief while I scuffed across the floor with my fuzzy slippers and pulled a tissue from my housecoat sleeve.

I could go on and on about these songs, but let me just choose a few which make me feel like I should start shopping for some Fixodent.

Mario Winans - I Don't Wanna Know
This song features P. Diddy and Enya. I'm not sure if I would have put them together as a winning combination and after having heard it, I'm still not sure. The part of this song which had me scratchin' my head was when P. Diddy busts into the following lyrics.

i don't wanna let you go
and i don't wanna let you leave
can't say i didn't let you breathe
gave you extra cheese
put you in the SUV
you wanted ice so i made you freeze
made you hot like the west indies

extra cheese? am I supposed to understand that?

J-Kwon - Tipsy
No doubt, this song is catchy. But shame on you J-Kwon for promoting underage drinking! The lyrics for this song let us know that J-Kwon is interested in fine young woman (a.k.a. shorty) who is angry with her man, already has a child, but swears she's had her tubes tied. Did I mention that he's not sure if she's 21? This is a very exciting night for J-Kwon as we find out later:

...she started feelin on my johnson right out the blue,
girl you super thick so I'm thinkin that's koo

3 questions here: is koo a word now? since when is it so koo to be super thick? does super thick mean what I think it means?

Christina Milian - Dip It Low
let me just start off with the lyrics on this one.

Dip it low
Pick it up slow
Roll it all around
Poke it out like your back broke
Pop pop pop that thing
Ima show you how to make your man say "Ooo"

First of all, I don't need a 22 year old (who says "songs on this album have a little more depth to them") show me how to make my man say Oooo. And poke it out like my back broke? That's not okay.

I better stop here, I fear I've proved I'm beyond uncool. Besides I heard Sears is having a sale on elastic waist pants tomorrow, so it's just as well I get my rest.

nobody makes me bleed my own blood

You knew I would see it on opening weekend.

Unfortunately I had a lounge day yesterday, which meant sitting in my pajamas and watching TV for a healthy portion of the day. Which led to me watch every Dodgeball preview, interview and behind the scenes special. Which led to a very unsurprising first hour of the movie for me today. As a matter of fact after having watched all that stuff I think I had already seen the first hour of the movie.

See what happens when I don't use TiVo?

the express line

The grocery store has a little sign above each express line which tells you how many items (or less) you may have. What the sign does not state is that you may not be a moron to use such line, and if you are going to act like an idiot, please step aside.

I fear that I may sound like a bitter little freak here, but when I get in an express line I expect it to be speedy. Today I chose an express line with only two people waiting; a woman eggs and paper towels at the front of the line followed by another woman with a loaf of bread and three cans, then my turn. This seemed promising, I'll be out in no time! So promising, until I realized that Eggs and Paper Towels was destined to write a check... or a novel, it was hard to tell.

I know that some people are afraid of bank cards, my Mom is one of them, but she tends to carry enough cash to pay for eggs and paper towels. And if she didn't have enough cash she would definitely have her checkbook and ID ready by the time she reached the counter. And she would be writing the name of the store on the check while simultaneously placing her items on the belt. We are a very efficient family. The woman at the front of the line today had nothing to do with efficiency.

I was nice and calm when the cashier told Eggs and Paper Towels her total and she slowly reached for her checkbook. I kept my cool as she searched in her bag for a pen, overlooking the one sitting on the counter. I shifted my weight (in a passive aggressive way) when she asked him for the total again. I felt my heart rate going up as she kept writing and writing and writing. How much could she possibly fit on that itty bitty check? Some relief passed over my psyche when she tore the check from the book, but the relief was soon swept away when the cashier asked for her ID. He asked her twice, once while she was filling out the register in her check book and again while she was putting her pen away. Once Eggs and Paper Towels understood what was being requested of her she began to root around in her cavernous purse for her missing ID, laughing and chatting the entire time. In front of me Loaf of Bread and Three Cans let out a very loud and sad sigh, we rolled our eyes at each other. About 5 minutes later Eggs and Paper Towels was grabbing her bag and looking as if she was going to leave when she decided this would be the best time to ask the cashier about those neat little self check out stations to our right. Oh, how I wished I was at one of those self check out stations. The ever helpful cashier told her all about the machines, the people using them, where babies come from and how the universe was created. Then they sat down and had a cup of tea and she found some crumpets in her giant purse. Loaf of Bread and Three Cans turned to me and wept, then we cried ourselves to sleep.

backseat bride

My best friend, Lisa(who I've known for 21 years), is getting married this year. She's been pretty busy and a little stressed out, so I tried to do a few things to help her out. One of the things I did was open accounts on both the Knot and the Wedding Channel for her, so she could get ideas and perhaps chat with other brides to be.

This all seemed like a very good idea until my OCD came back into play. What tragically happened is that I started looking at these sites more than Lisa does. "More than Lisa" is most likely an understatement, because I don't think she's even had time to check them out yet. Then on the other hand you have me, the un-bride, who can't stop going to these sites. I've checked them everyday for the past week. Addicted to the message boards filled with the desperate rants of pre and post brides. I found myself getting fired up over these stories and journals I've been reading. Some of these women are fucking nuts.

It started off pretty harmless, there I was just browsing around looking for recommendations for caterers, but then the next thing I knew 2 hours had passed. I had been clicking link after link after link; reading about how a mother of the groom was mad because there would be a keg at the reception, or how a bridesmaid was pregnant and due around this bride's wedding date and how tacky and thoughtless that bridesmaid was. Many brides wrote about going so far as "demoting" their maid of honor. I was in pure disbelief of these women. I tried to stop myself from reading these stories of practice hair-do appointments, custom made t-shirts, and mint julep votive candle holders but I couldn't, I just kept on reading, my jaw on the floor. I guess since reality TV is so dry right now I needed to go somewhere to get my fix.

The first thing I had to figure out was what everything meant: FI = Fiance (or FH for Future Husband), FIL = Future in Laws, MOH = Maid of Honor, etc.. For some reason it took me a little while to figure them out, I guess I never thought of abbreviating those things, probably because I never had to. I did (and still do) think using BM to refer to your closest friends, your Bridesmaids, is a little uncouth, but I guess when you're a fast and furious bride-to-be you don't have time to type the whole word. Next I realized that the Knot is much more classy than the Wedding Channel, so of course I spent all my time on the Wedding Channel. Then I had to find out how to look at these people's pictures. It wasn't enough to just read about the chair covers for the reception (even though the FI thought they were too pricey), I had to see them. I entered a whole new world. I gazed upon picture after picture of people I don't, and will never, know. Giddy brides at their final fitting, couples shoving cake into each other's mouths, tiaras pinned to piles of curls, cascading flowers hung on pews. Whole wedding albums have been posted. Unbelievable. Then what really floored me was this...

Some of these ladies who post on the boards have already been married for 3 (or more) years, but they continue to talk about their wedding like it was yesterday. It blows my mind that anyone feels this way. I love a wedding as much as the next gal, but this seemed very overboard to me. I suppose my passions lie elsewhere and I always assumed these boards were only used as a tool. But weddings and being a wife (and giving advice on how to do both) seem to be a pretty big deal to these people. Then I started to realize that many of these women had become friends through a support group system and now would go through motherhood together, online. Not only were their wedding albums posted, but now there were pictures of their children. Or if the children were not born yet, pictures of ultrasounds and bellies containing children. Some women have even posted their fertility charts. That's right, I repeat: women on these message boards POST THEIR FERTILITY CHARTS.

and i looked at them.

It seemed so strange to me, all of a sudden I felt like a minority, as if there was this secret bride society no one ever invited me to. Which is okay. I suppose these women find their support where they need to: online. For me... when it comes to things like the details of my wedding day and my ovaries I'd rather keep it a little closer to home. So should I ever have a fertility chart you can bet your bippy you won't be seeing it on this blog.

I went cold turkey today, I broke up with the message boards, and I'm doing just fine. I don't have any signs of wedding withdrawal and now I just hope that Lisa doesn't fall prey to these evil, evil addictive boards.

I need a nap

Alex's brother came out to visit for the weekend. It was a lot of fun, but it's been awhile since I've been awake past 1:30am... for 3 consecutive nights. I'm still feeling the burn. Wow, I sound like a big loser.
But we did have good times; we ate lots of food, had drinks, watched a hilarious movie, took a walk at the Albany Bulb, tasted some sake and tried our best at a Pub Quiz.
here are some pics.


gates at Albany Bulb

Bob and Alex at the bulb

Alex and Bob at sculpture

sculpture at Bulb

how to make sake

sake barrel

sake factory

good news!

All my french fries purchases are now justified.
I knew this day would come.