Friday, October 29, 2004

single file in an orderly fashion

Today (right around lunchtime) we had a fire alarm here at work. This is always a welcome kind of thing for someone like myself, because I long for anything which will break up the monotony of my day. The entire company ended up milling around the parking lot for about a half hour or so. There were a select few employees all decked out for Halloween; I saw a devil, Dee Snider from Twisted Sister, some Renaissance kind of dude, a doctor in the "Psycho Ward" and prisoner. I got to see real firefighters with real axes, too!

The only downside to this false alarm was when I went to use the restroom after returning to the building. It's my guess that whoever used the first stall I looked into was in there when the jarring alarm went off. I haven't seen a sight like that since I stopped working in a theatre that doubled as a soup kitchen on Sundays.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

holy flurking schnit

As a Boston native there is still part of me that can't believe the Red Sox won. I didn't fully comprehend the greatness of it all until my friend Ben called me on his cell phone from the actual streets of Boston. I could barely hear him over the screams and horns, but he did manage to let me know that as of this moment "Boston is a non-functional society... but in a good way".

In a good way like not burning stuff? Or good way like it's totally acceptable to be drunk in public?

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

c'mon Red Sox!

... or Cardinals, hit the sign! People be wantin some free tacos.

tv... too... powerful... can't ... stop

I'm not sure which is more upsetting: my sad, sad addiction to reality TV or the fact that these shows are out there for me to watch. I try to stay away, I really do, but TiVo makes it so easy to watch the best bits and pieces of these crappy programs. With my trusty remote in hand I tend to lose all self control and dignity.
Last night I ended up flipping around on live TV, instead of sticking with the comfort and safety of my pre-recorded stuff. This fruitless flipping resulted in Alex and I participating in a pathetic viewing of Fear Factor. (please note how I drag Alex into this story so I don't feel like a lone loser.) This just wasn't just any Fear Factor, it was Halloween Fear Factor. I was greatly confused, because having seen a few past episodes I'm not sure how the producers even thought they were making the show more edgy, scary or disgusting than it usually is.
It turned out that each member of this very special holiday reality cast had a chance to be electrically shocked while running around in a chainmail suit, eat this crap
and finally, those who were lucky enough to make it to the final round, were locked in a rotating plexiglass cage with flies, superworms and crickets while trying to unlock their way to freedom and a shower. Thrilling and holiday specific, n'est pas?
My favorite quote from the show went a little something like this:
It sucks having to go home on the first day. I thought maybe I would make it to the second day and probably eat some cow balls or something, but I didn't make it.

You would think that just the possibility of snacking on some prairie oysters would have made her try a little harder. slacker.

I concluded my evening by tuning into a sorry display of some wild hopping while shout-singing by Ashlee Simpson on the RMA.

It may be time for me to seek some professional help.

Monday, October 25, 2004

autumn in Albany

Fall doesn't seem so fall-y here in California if you're used to your autumns New England style. But this tree is right outside our front door; it's like the people who landscaped the University Village knew we would need to see a naked tree or something.


I think that the worst feeling in the world may be the turbulent days right before a massive head cold. But I'm sure that once this head cold is large and in charge I'll be telling everyone that the actual head cold is the worst feeling.

Either way, being sick isn't any fun.

Friday, October 22, 2004


After being thanked and excused by the court yesterday (most likely for my essay describing how I feel about our justice system, written on Tuesday's 10 page questionnaire) I was able to sell my goods for the last hour and a half of the craft fair at work. For some reason the organizers of this fair like to spell it "faire", but I will not do that here, or anywhere, ever.
Let me tell you, people who work on and with video games don't really like to buy crafts, but I still ended up selling about 100 bucks worth of stuff and I got a free boxed lunch. It was only in the last 10 minutes that people really let go and bought stuff, so I'm glad I didn't give in and pack up early like some of the others. Because of my persistence I was asked to make a special visit to a VP's office and show him the remainder of my wares. He bought two of my scarves for his daughter, it was all very business-like.
Here's some of the stuff I sold:

I made all the scarves in the past 3 weeks, and as I would finish them I would just throw them in a big pile on the couch. Alex said it looked like I killed a bunch of Dr. Seuss characters. He even went so far as to write an email signed
CiPOFAC (Citizens for the protection of fictional animal characters)

The weird thing about these scarves is that they are so easy to make, but everyone at the fair yesterday gave them a big oooh and ahhh. I felt a little guilty.

If you want to experience true knitting genius, check out my knitty idol. (I finally got to meet the Cap'n at Lisa's wedding.)

My biggest disappointment was not selling my Halloween specific items, because once the season is over I have to store this crap for another year... or get rid of it somehow. So be careful if you live close to me, because you might end up with my cheesiest spooky frame:

Wednesday, October 20, 2004


My misfortune is directly proportional to the Red Sox's success. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make to help reverse the curse, but let's hope it doesn't end up crippling me.

First I had a sluggish Sunday, where everything I tried to accomplish took way too long and ended poorly, but the Red Sox won. Next I remembered I had jury duty and the Red Sox won again. Then I found out my obligation to jury duty would result in my missing the craft fair at work, after I toiled so long at my knitting and sculpting, and the Red Sox won again. And at last, this evening on my way home, as the Red Sox were kicking serious ass, I got rear ended. My precious Matrix is no longer untainted, it now knows the paint of another and is in desperate need of a new back bumper. But all of this is unimportant, because if my mild whiplash means victory for the Red Sox then give me a neck brace.

remember the NHL?

My new not-so-secret celebrity crush of the week gives some advice on how to handle the lockout.

Monday, October 18, 2004

oh, Red Sox

I was trained at a young age to be the worst kind of Red Sox fan; the kind who wants to believe they can win and secretly hopes they will, but can't stop talking about how they're going to lose.

I watched all 5 hours and 2 minutes of the game last night, after I said I wasn't even going to bother to turn it on. And then when they did win I thought "just one more chance to get our hopes up only to crush them in the end."

I'm sorry Red Sox, but you make it so darn hard. I'll try to be a better fan. I'm not going to get a tattoo of the state of Massachusetts on my bicep like the dude I met at the A's game, nor will I go shirtless while wearing a dodo head and beat my gut like the man in the stands last night, but I'll keep trying.

Friday, October 15, 2004

sleeping... to the extreme

I slept so hard last night that at one point I woke up and my ear hurt from the weight and pressure of my unmovable head. I was so tired that I decided the pain in my ear was more acceptable than actually trying to adjust my head a quarter inch in any direction. I was also able to complete four sitcom style dreams, two of which were about misunderstandings while trying to board flights to Europe.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

and we're back

Congratulations Lisa and Ben!

I'd love to go on and on about all the crazy things that happened to me over the past 9 days, but I need a vacation from my vacation. So this is the Cliff Notes version:

The week leading up to the wedding was a little stressful, but the bulk of the work got done by Wednesday night. We wasted some energy anticipating anything that could possibly go wrong, which was the worst feeling and for some reason we just couldn't shake it. Lisa and I can be a little toxic when we get together; we are both proficient pessimists and must secretly relish the chance to catastrophize any normal situation. At some point we finally ended up laughing about our worst case scenarios for possible wedding destruction and started our descent into some weird sort of relaxation on Thursday morning when we made Fiocchi, which are neat little Italian cookies.

I got to roll, cut and sprinkle some sugar with Lisa, her Dad and her aunt. I felt honored to be part of a family tradition.

Then we moved on to the bachelorette portion of the day which included pedicures, naps, Shark Tale, seafood with cocktails and crashing the bachelor party. (note: Crashing a poker game is anticlimactic)

Friday was hectic with a trip to the airport at 6:30am to pick up one sleepy Alex, followed by trips to Chinatown for a very special birthday cake and the flower market for the makings of wedding bouquets. Lisa was able to squeeze a nap in. I was not so lucky, but there's never need to worry when coffee is right around the corner! I'm going to have to admit my full blown addiction to all things caffeine, however I will never stop thinking that Red Bull is yucky. With the help of my best friend, coffee, I was able to stay alert while Ben's cousin Kim showed me how to make kick ass bouquets. and I helped.

Saturday started at the salon (I'll save that story for another day) and ended with the wedding. Finally, the wedding.
It was beautiful. There were a few meltdown moments and a couple tears leading up to the ceremony, but we all pulled through. Lisa was beaming and looked absolutely gorgeous. I wish that I had fantastic photos to post, but I lacked camera savvy that evening and took all sorts of crappy pictures. Alex took this one though, which I think is very sweet.

And in closing, I know that it was officially Lisa and Ben's big day, but I would be doing a great disservice to this blog if I didn't mention something big that happened to me on the very same day.

Allow me to reflect on my hair.

As a matter of fact, why don't I just post this gem of a photo and let you see for yourself how extraordinary my coiffure was. Of course you will have the inevitable urge to ridicule, so allow me to help you out - For pure comedy gold you may want to be sure to hit upon the following subjects: Bea Arthur, Heat Miser, New Jersey and Pat Benatar. Enjoy, won't you?

Friday, October 08, 2004

happy birthday, Julianne!

because of sporadic internet access and excessive wedding duties I wasn't able to actually post on your birthday, but I'll make it look like I did. I feel so sneaky.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004


It's been a rough 6 days for me here in New England; highlights include my mother, stress, long car rides, multiple calls to my doctor for a prescription for antibiotics, an over-inflated Aerobed and a rental car that smells like bad cologne. But it hasn't been all bad though, I got to spend a little bit of time with my sister and nephew, and there's never a moment with them that doesn't bring a smile to my face. If you've never gone apple picking on a beautiful October day with a toddler I highly suggest you do so posthaste.

And now I embark on the wedding front. All that bridal browsing will finally come to fruition on Saturday when I get to participate in the much anticipated union of two of my very good friends. As we sit here and pick out music I realize how much fun this wedding is going to be. Then I had the revelation that I'm actually on vacation. It's too bad it took me this long to figure it out. I never claimed to be a genius... or sane.

Here's a photo of the wedding HQ we've been working in today. Please note the three laptops (which were being used simultaneously) and seating chart done with sticky notes on the mirror. We're in business now.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

happy birthday, R.M.!

I'm 3000 miles away, missing your fondue extravaganza, but please be aware that in your honor I will be eating cheese and thinking of robots, monkeys and pirates all day. Or just a robotic monkey pirate... either way, I'll be thinking of you.