I am so out of here

Tomorrow morning Alex and I head out to the land where leaves change color in the fall, snow comes down in the winter and thunderstorms happen in the summer. I'm visiting Boston for a wedding, but I'm staying a whole week for the thunderstorms (and to see my sister and her kick ass family).

I've been so stressed out all week trying to finish up everything at work, cleaning up after 9 days of house guests, saying goodbye to some friends who are leaving the state for good and then for some reason I put all this pressure on myself to find some fabulous outfit for this wedding on Saturday. Truth be told I don't really care what I wear, but I can't wear any of my old clothes because I've gained over 10 pounds since October... sitting around feeling sorry for myself and my busted vestibular system. look out, here comes the whaaaaa-mbulance.

I went shopping today at Anthropologie which is actually a store for wealthy, tall, sultry, anorexic ladies, but I gave it a shot anyways. The store itself is pleasant enough to be in and the staff is very attentive to customers who are using the dressing rooms. I'm not used to that kind of attention and it makes me a little uncomfortable. I think that when I'm trying stuff on instead of the gracious employee asking me "How's it going in there?" or "do you need a smaller size?" she might want to try "How's your low self esteem doing?" or "Are you feeling fat and dumpy enough yet?" Buying clothes for a specific event at the last minute never really pans out, does it?

So off to Boston I go, with a smile on my face and song in my heart, for I am now about to pack way too many clothes so I can try them all on everyday and annoy Alex by wailing out "does this make me look faaaaaat?"

5 years later, just as goofy

Alex and I have been married for five years today. I can't say it feels like it was just yesterday, because it really does feel like five years. I think his time in optometry school had us counting down the last four years on the calendar. So I guess now starts the time when I sit back and let time fly.

I'm not going to get all sentimental or anything, everyone knows how much I dig being married to Alex. But I am going to post this picture... a picture which I thought would never see the light of day, but now I'm ready to share it because it's been five years and it's so hilarious. Please note the following things for maximum amusement:
* I'm wearing a tiara
* Alex is sunburned
* My eyebrows and lips are penciled in, much like those of a crazy person
* The pose we are in is so lame, yet showcases Alex's wedding band and conveniently leaves out my tattoo
* Remember that background from your thrid grade class photo?
* Nothing makes a photo more classy than making it all frosty and blurry looking.

where would I be without TiVo?

As it turns out Ray and Alex's mom really enjoy Saturday Night Live and the Daily Show, so I feel very fortunate that we have about 3 weeks worth of both shows saved up on TiVo. It will be a lovely Bon Voyage evening.

In other news, there was a barbecue at work today. I ate a cheeseburger, salad, potato salad and an ice cream sandwich. Then I went back inside and painted my nails with Liquid Paper so it looks like I have a French manicure.

survived

I made it through E3 and Alex's graduation weekend. The in-laws are still in town (9 days never seemed so long), I've got 2 more days and then I win a million dollars or some free time. Either would be swell.

My experience at E3 just made me want to take a hot bath, especially when I think of all those gaming bastards who inadvertently elbowed me or smashed their steamy, game lovin' bodies into me. I know they didn't mean it, but spending three days there helped me realize how important personal space is. I wasn't officially ready to punch anyone in the face until about 3:30 on the first day; it was then that some douchebag swung his backpack around to put it on his oversized, sweaty back and in his haste he included me in the process and gave me a nice hearty bruise on my arm. I had been at the Convention Center since 7:30 in the morning that day, so it was bound to happen at some time. I was very proud of myself for not getting my panties in a bunch for the first 8 hours I was there. Speaking of panties, there were some booth babes who were only wearing underwear. I tried to get a picture of them but my dignity got in the way and I couldn't muster up the strength to point my camera in their direction. I did however take some pictures of the Anti Booth Babes.


they rock my world.

I got really dizzy, I looked at lots of video games and I went to the fancy pants PlayStation party and got to see Jimmy Eat World, Camp Freddy and the crappiest band which had the potential to be the best band, Mini Kiss.

Then I came back home and tried my best to put on a happy face, despite being a mess from airline travel and a convention center full of moving lights, because Alex's family was all in town and in my living room. I won't go into details about entertaining family because I'm sure everyone understands and writing about the past 7 days wouldn't really make for compelling reading. Let's just say I'm thankful that I don't have enough vacation to actually take this week off.

I do however wish I had more time to write more about a GAP member who confessed having a crush on me, dinner with my friend Beret and her son Jack, visiting my old pals at CTG and how I realized I forgot the tickets to Alex's graduation after his mom, Ray and I were already on campus and how Julianne and Max saved my ass, but now it's time for me to fix the coffee for tomorrow... Ray made decaf instead of regular yesterday and OHHH THE HORROR. To quote Ray himself "WHA? What the HELL? WHAT the Hell?" (proceed to smash cup on counter)
I leave you with this picture of Ray taking a picture of me taking a picture of Ray.

110 and tennis courts

Here I sit in the Marriott Los Angeles awaiting a big day of shooting (with cameras, not guns) at E3 tomorrow. I think that the nerdfest convention would be a lot more fun for me if I wasn't coughing up a lung or could breathe through my nose.

From my window I can see the way to the 110 and a bunch of tennis courts.

unfortunate

Due to some sudden and unavoidable addictions to Katamari Damacy, Ape Escape and It's-It ice cream thingys I just haven't been posting at all. And there's been some pretty good stuff to write about, like the woman who sat behind us at the theatre and cleared her throat for the entire 2 hours and 30 minutes. But I don't have time to tell everyone about some crinkly, dry old lady who needs hard candy when there are monkeys on the loose!

However, I did find time to dig up a photo for this week's Photo Friday challenge - Space.

I never got around to posting my photo from last week's challenge on here, but it was Action. You can check it out here (I'm somewhere around 500). Heck, you can even cast a noteworthy vote for me.

Someday soon I will stop eating ice cream and playing video games, then I'll start a bonfire and y'all can gather 'round while I tell you about my rafting trip, my very first attempt at Shinteki and how very excited I am that we are only days away from Britney Spears' UPN debut. I am shivering with anticipation.

coffee break

Today was the first time in about 6 months that I had coffee at work. What made me sad, besides the fact that I have to drink decaf, was that I had to go all the way to the other side of the building to get milk. Free milk. But what made the walk worth it was this sign on the free milk fridge:

Do NOT take milk cartons from this refrigerator.
Continuing disregard for this policy will result in the discontinuance of free milk.

But then I found a better sign in the kitchen where I brewed the coffee:

Please turn off the coffee pot when there is a small amount of coffee still in the pot. This will prevent the bottom of the glass pot from burning up or the glass flying into someone's eyes should it burst.
Also, don't forget to turn off the toaster oven. We don't want a fire!
Thanks for helping out with this!

I don't know who put those up, but they are right, we don't want a fire... we want a toaster oven. I couldn't find one anywhere.

photo friday

I'm always lurking on Photo Friday, so I figured it's about time I submit something. This week's challenge is 'fancy'

happy birthday, Ben!

Remember in art class (in 1988) when we had to do self portraits? There's nothing like having a room filled with oil pastels being driven by teen angst. I hope your birthday is lots more fun than that.

plus some black jellybeans

I was looking for patterns for a knit doll online and came across the Poopy Sheep.

Do you have a sense of humor? Poopy Sheep is crocheted and filled with black jelly beans which "poop" out the back hole.

I do have a sense of humor. I guess I just don't think a poopy sheep is funny. On the other hand, the people who think the poopy sheep is hilarious probably wouldn't find my recent posts very funny at all.

as long as I've written about Nazis once...

I figure I should just get this one out there, too.
This weekend on our way to a rafting trip in Coloma, Alex and RM started talking about potential names for Alex's practice once he's a real live optometrist. We've discussed this many times before and decided that hair salons and vision care places have some pretty bad names. In the past we've come up with "the EYES have it", "EYE can help" or "EYE, EYE, captain" but this one took the cake:

Alex: Maybe I should just call it the Third R-EYE-ch
RM: Yeah, and then your slogan could be "Because even a Nazi shouldn't not see."

I will admit it took me a long time to get the Nazi/not see part. But that was okay because when I finally did get it I realized that I had actually extended the life of the joke, providing myself with laughter even while alone.

“You can not dress a horse like a Nazi”

but apparently monkeys will do just fine.

at lunch

I learned two things from Paul:

1. Someone had the brilliant idea of editing the entire NWA album, Straight Outta Compton... keeping only the explicit lyrics. Excellent.

2. Fried is okay again. I have always been and always will be a big fan of fried, but now I don't have to be ashamed to say it anymore. I'm also extremely jazzed to meet the new Colonel.

happy birthday, Greg!

I almost forgot to post this today. Because I was so "busy" at "work".

Without a friend like you I would never have a kick ass job, play so many board games or scare the crap out of myself by going white water rafting.

please don't make me watch UPN

Britney, Britney, Britney.
I'm so sick of her that when May 17th rolls around I'm not watching this.

Britney stated "I am so excited about the series... As I mentioned before, I am now going to be expressing my personal life through art. This series will show us falling in love and all the adventures that went on overseas during the European leg of my Onyx Hotel tour. It's going to be an exciting ride." Kevin feels this project will speak for itself. Simply put, he says, "It is a documentation of love."

oh, who am I kidding. You know I would totally watch it, but it's on at the same time as the Amazing Race. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, the Amazing Race may have it's final episode before May 17... so never mind.

That new Britney Spears show is going to be awesome. But not as awesome as this.

happy birthday, Mindy!

Growing up with a sister only 11 months older was wicked awesome. You paved the way and I was always right on your tail, annoying the crap out of you. Because we were forced to share a room we ended up sharing clothes, magazines and albums, for better or for worse. We got into some decent fights over the sharing, and once again I'll take some time to say sorry that I pulled your hair out, scratched your face and bit you. But that's what you get for even thinking about wearing my Star Wars pajamas. We can look back at those times and laugh now, right? Right?
There were some good times, too. Like the time we agreed what a loser the family therapist was and the time we pooled our money together to buy as many black rubber Madonna bracelets as possible.
I have to admit that the moment which best defined our sisterhood for me happened last week when without more than four spoken words between us we both confessed and understood the shame of having participated in the viewing of Behind the Camera: Mork & Mindy, the unauthorized story.
Maybe we felt compelled to watch it since I spent a good amount of my childhood being called Mork, while you were always being asked where Mork was. At any rate, I'm glad you're my sister and I love you.

oysters, ice cream and the masked luchador

It's important to remember that San Francisco has much to offer, so that's why last Saturday Greg, RM, Alex and I attended O'Reilly's Oyster & Beer Festival. Beer and oysters? In a festival format? Free admission? okay.
I thought that it would be a lot more festival-y, as in there would be games and fried dough, etc., but it was basically a big open space lined with tents for oysters and tents for beer and a big stage where Irish step dancing and Irish music happened. We got there pretty early and left before it got too crowded. Out departure was prompted by a band who labeled their style as a fusion of Jazz and Celtic music. Unfortunately that meant we missed the shuck and suck contest. damn. But we did have some beer and oysters. Here is a picture of Greg and RM drinking 6 dollar beers while we looked for a place to sit. Let it be known that a $6.00 beer will make RM angry.

As long as I put a picture of beer (and it's drinkers) up here, I might as well bust out some of the oyster biznazz.



I'm not a big shellfish fan. I also don't like slimy food, but I was feeling the pressure since it was an oyster festival, so I finally gave in to a small oyster. It wasn't so bad. I loaded it up with horseradish to be on the safe side so basically it ended up being an experience about chewy horseradish. I can't say I would make a habit of eating them, but I tried. I had a bite of a fried oyster later on in the day and HATED it. But not as much as Alex hated opening the door to an unlocked port-a-potty to find someone already in there relieving himself. I didn't know what happened until afterward, but I heard Alex say "you know, these things do lock" and I was all "yeah, duh, I know" but it turns out he was talking to the peeing stranger.

With the Oyster fest port-a-potties behind us we ended up being tourists for the day and walked over to Ghirardelli Square for some ice cream. Alex ordered something called the Warm Cookie Bottom sundae, it sounded dirty to me but I ate some anyways. Oysters and warm cookie bottom, I told you San Francisco has so much to offer. After our throats hurt from ingesting so much sugar we headed down to the Musee Mecanique.

It was in this museum that I found out you could watch a mini execution for a quarter, mechanical bowling is awesome


and although Alex was defeated, Greg is one serious arm wrestler... strong enough to take down the masked luchador.

rehab, vestibular stizzy

Looks like I'm an A+ patient in my vestibular rehabilitation therapy. I've been doing my exercises everyday and it seems to be paying off, I'm noticing some relief of my symptoms and my balance is getting lots better. I can even walk a (sort of) straight line with my eyes closed. I can't believe I'm in my 30s and I'm bragging about being able to walk. The thing that sucks about VRT is that it takes about an hour out of my day... everyday. When I have an appointment with the physical therapist I can kiss another hour goodbye. I'm not going to get bitter about it (like everything else) because I'd rather give up an hour of each day doing weird crap my eyes closed and turning my head quickly in various directions than suffer with dizziness for the rest of my life. And sometimes the exercises are fun, especially when Alex helps me out; while I balance on one leg on some foam he times me and even catches me when I start veering off to one side. Isn't that sweet? I can't wait until he gets to push me around in my wheelchair, it's like a window into the future. I've also done some fabulous redecorating all around the apartment by taping up focal points for exercises. These are some fancy focal points consisting of a single letter written on the back of a business card and hung at eye level using only the finest of Scotch tapes.

Today I did some rehab when I got to work by repeatedly walking down a long hallway while turning my head to each side. This wasn't too embarrassing, because no one ever walks down that hall. VRT offically got fun after lunch today when I got some of my coworkers to do the hall run with me. Not only was it hilarious, but I was able to find some comfort in the fact that one of them felt just as bad as I did when we finished. Sorry, Sean.

me not good at thinking

Yesterday, being April Fool's day and all, I thought I would play a joke on Alex. My joke was to put a rubber band around the squirty hose thingy at the sink so when he would turn the water on in the kitchen, instead of having water come out of the faucet as expected, he would be left in shock and awe of his mysteriously soaked shirt. The problem with this joke was that hours went by and nothing Alex did had anything to do with the kitchen sink. I eventually decided that while he was in the bathroom I would empty his water glass as well as the mostly full Brita water pitcher... forcing him to fill up something. As I'm emptying these things I notice some stray coffee grounds in the sink that really bother me, so I decided to rinse them away. ha ha. Now I'm standing at the kitchen sink with a soaked shirt feeling like a big idiot. I was able to escape from the sink and change my shirt without Alex noticing, however I'm not convinced he wasn't aware of my uncontrollable bursts of laughter. About a half hour later Alex needed water and decided to fill up the pitcher. I didn't figure on this, but did you know that when you flip the top of a Brita water pitcher up to fill it you are completely protected from the spray of water coming from the squirty hose thingy?
If my practical joke failure isn't enough to convince people of my lameness, try this one. We lost power yesterday while I was talking on the phone with Wil. I'm still chatting away telling Wil all about our power going out when I start wondering why I don't hear Wil on the other end. Then I realize the POWER WENT OUT so the phone just isn't going to work. I pick up my cell phone to call him back and discover I only have his cell number stored on my cell phone, so I pick up the home phone to look up his home number. I start pressing buttons and wondering why I can't see anything. That's right, I picked up same phone that I had just put down less than 30 seconds ago, there was still no power, and I was still stupid.

I'm addicted to lines. LINES!

Last Wednesday I stood outside the Metreon for a good portion of the day with some of my coworkers and a camera crew to cover the launch of the PSP. I would never make fun of the 500 people who waited in line to get the PSP at midnight, I'm especially not going to mock the first 10 guys in line who waited anywhere from 18 to almost 48 hours in the rain and cold.


These people are the fans I won't poke fun of (except the guy who wouldn't sign an image release and freaked everyone out). Not only do they guarantee I'll still have a job, but once I got to talking to them I found some weird place in my heart for them. Over the 14 hours I spent with these dudes I got kind of attached; with some it was much like that dysfunctional love/hate relationship between a kidnapper and his victim. With others I found a genuine respect for their gusto, because it was fucking cold out there. This is Dan.


His girlfriend brought him warmer socks and shoes in the evening. She also brought him some dinner. Dan was actually in the store doing some stuff with PR people when his lady dropped by. Oh, Dan. Hope things are going okay for you.
The first guy in line, Richard, was pretty cool. Here he is contemplating a hot dog.


He had a handmade hat and scarf set created with some army camouflage yarn, we talked about it for at least 10 minutes. That was the point where I realized I might be a bigger geek than anyone in the line. He was so tired of people asking him what he was waiting for that he started answering people with "Tickets are going on sale for the Backstreet Boys reunion" or "N'Sync is doing a free performance." I was only there for a fraction of the time he was, and I was pretty bored with answering the "what's all this about?" question as well. The best conversation regarding the line was between an insanely enthusiastic older gentleman and my boss.

old man: Say, what's this line all about?
boss: It's the launch of the PSP.
old man: Now what's that again?
boss: At midnight a handheld device, the PSP, will go on sale.
old man: So it's a sale?
boss: Well, these people will be the first to get the units, but they cost the same as they will in other stores.
old man: So they just want to be first. What does it do?
boss: You can play games, watch movies and listen to music with it.
old man: And how much does that cost?
boss: Around 250
old man (while smiling and nodding): Oh, what people spend money on these days! Good for them! You know, I should get in this line. I'm addicted to standing in lines.
boss: You're what?
old man: I'm addicted to lines. (then screaming at the top of his lungs) LINES!

This giant PSP was across the street from the line and the screen was counting down how many hours and minutes were left until purchasing time. Add Dick Clark and we would have been all sorts of compelling to millions of Americans. or not.

I left at 11:45pm, before the first sale, but I bet Mr. 500 had to wait a pretty long time before he actually had his hands on a PSP. I wonder if he actually got his PSP before the Circuit City opened the next day.