moron

Yep, that's me. I've emerged as the full fledged moron I knew lurked within for so many years.

This weekend opened the door to two experiences for me, one overpriced, one free, which both allow me to not only feel like a moron, but look like one, too.

Saturday was an expensive haircut that ended in the horror of looking in the mirror to find a spectacular mullet... on my very own head. I guess the hairdresser was stressed out about her sick dog, but that was no reason to cut all my bangs off, was it? This haircut had me running home to put my MGD in a beer koozie, sit in my busted up lawn chair in my dirt yard and daydream about NASCAR.

Sunday was a 20 minute bike ride, which actually turned into a 20 mile bike ride, without sunscreen. Luckily I was only out between the hours of 11 - 2, so I wasted no time making sure I got as crispy as possible. Sure this one was a freebie, but I assure you, I'm paying for it today. My once pasty Irish arms are now an amazing hue of purple, emitting heat strong enough to cook a frozen bag of peas used to ease the pain.

So if you see me walking down the street and you pretend you don't know who I am, I'll understand, because I don't even want to be seen with this moron.