for some reason today was my angry day. Angry when I got out of bed, angry when I took a shower, at the store, in the parking lot (but that a given). I'm not sure why I'm this angry but I feel a little resentful today and I'm kind of regretting quitting my job. Don't get me wrong, I hated that job. I'm glad that I don't have to clean up after actors and I'm glad that I don't have to take people to and fro in a dirty company car, but I miss the companionship that I had in an office everyday. I miss the structure to my day and I miss being able to feel free at the end of the day. Yeah, I know, I'm free all day right now, but it's different when you sit at a desk all day and dream about the things you'll do when you go home and when you actually are at home all day.
When I see or talk to my friends from my old job I secretly want to hear them say "yeah, this place is really falling apart without you" or "it's just not the same now that you're gone, I think I might leave, too" okay, maybe not that drastic, but it's always nice to know when you've made a lasting impression and things really aren't the same without you. Doesn't everybody want that? I never imagined when I quit a job I hated it would make me feel so bad.
So I guess that's the root of the anger. And I try to get myself out and moving around and seeing new things everyday, but I really am unadventurous and I think that I may need a little guidance.
I also feel a little bad because I think my cat has caught on to the fact that I'm angry - he's been hiding under the bed all day and I can't get him out. It's okay when it just messes with my day, but this poor cat has no where else to go. Sorry, buddy.