10 things that made me look like an ass

Stress from my job is setting in, the insomnia caused by the stress is catching up with me. And while I know I'm not supposed to lie in bed thinking about why I can't sleep I lack the energy to actually get up and do stuff. When it's 3am nothing really seems appealing. Reading isn't fun and cooking is just out of the question. Knitting is okay, but then I have to turn the TV on. Before I know it, one crappy Lifetime movie rolls into something equally as mind numbing on the Oxygen network and I can't seem to surrender to the exhaustion within. So between the hours of 3am and 5am I've resorted to thinking of how I would design my dream home . I have had some very excellent ideas, most of which I forgot immediately.
Since I've been kind of like a walking zombie for the past week I've done some interesting things during the hours that I am supposed to be "functional":

* used the key fob for my car to open a door in the office, then walked into door, perplexed at why it didn't open.
* spilled coffee from travel mug down both sides of my mouth. while the coffee was running down my face onto my shirt I was thinking "Why won't that stop?", without ever moving the cup.
* attempted to spit chewed gum into a wrapper while driving. Missed. Then, while still driving, tried to clean gum off seats of new car, only making it worse.
* listened to an entire song by Hootie and the Blowfish
* got out of the shower, realized I forgot to wash my hair, got back in the shower to wash my hair, then couldn't remember why I was in the shower again.
* put wallet in back pocket and then spent the next 25 minutes freaking out about where I could have lost my wallet.
* carved a face on my lunch kiwi with a plastic knife and then became attached to it, vowing I would never eat it.
* had overwhelming and inexplicable paranoia that every car in the lane to the right of me was about to swerve into my lane.
* sang along with a Sugar Ray song.
* realized that the pen I was holding in my teeth was the one I picked up in the conference room.

Because of all the things listed above (and you bet there were more) I was deathly afraid of my tap class last night. If I was as bad as I was last week (as you can read below) - pre Hootie and the Blowfish episode - what would happen this week? Then when I walked in and realized I was half the class I almost had an anxiety attack. As it turns out I do much better in a smaller group and no one had to fear the return of Frankentap (name courtesy of Wil).