cooties

Obviously Alex and I are incapable of staying healthy for more than a few weeks at time and unfortunately it seems to be the only subject that keeps me posting stuff here. I was a little reluctant to write about this one, only because it's not something one would usually announce in a public way, but I have no secrets anymore, at least not after peeing my bed in the hospital.

While I was in the hospital last month Alex started showing signs of a rash on his belly. We both agreed that it was caused by stress, after all, he had just gotten out of the hospital himself and there I was 27 weeks pregnant and whining about being stuck in a bed. Weeks passed, I got better, but the rash persisted. In fact, it got worse, so bad that Alex would smear himself with Calamine lotion every night and then lie in bed diligently trying not to scratch, or even move, for fear of rash vengeance. When I would wake up in the middle of the night I would catch Alex scratching in his sleep. It was when the rash started taking over his ears and the webby parts between his fingers that he finally gave in and went to the doctor. That was on Wednesday at 7:15 in the morning, which meant that before I was even done with my coffee I was treated to the news of his delightful diagnosis.

Here's where I play a game with you, I'll give you a hint and you can guess what caused his rash.

Are you ready?

It's really, really small and it rhymes with babies. Did you guess?

That's right, it's scabies!

I can't remember my exact thoughts when Alex told me what it was, but do recall thinking "Who the hell gets scabies?" Alex even said "What is this? 1824? No one gets scabies anymore." But it turns out a lot of people get scabies, as a matter of fact there are about 300 million cases reported worldwide every year. I was just hoping we would not be two of them. I didn't even have a rash at that point, just a little mysterious itching, but if you live with someone with scabies it means you probably have scabies, too. Fun!

To get rid of the mites Alex and I had to apply a cream to our entire bodies and leave it on overnight. We proceeded to do eight washes of linens and clothes, vacuum the entire apartment, including the furniture all while scratching a lot. The bummer about it all is that after completing all this I read the box of bug killing cream and it says that even after the mites are gone itching can last for up to four weeks afterwards. So now I have no idea if I'm just scratching because I know that these mites were a part of me and I can't get past that, if this is just a normal part of the four weeks of itching after the treatment or if these bugs are still hanging out in my skin and I have to start the whole process again. What I do know is not only am I tired of getting up to pee every 2 hours because the baby is taking up the space where my bladder used to be, but the addition of this persistent scratching isn't helping my sleep quota.

The only good thing about this whole scabies crisis is that I think once we get it licked this time we'll hopefully have it licked for good. I assume this because when Alex got home from the doctor's on Wednesday he let me know "Well, that's it, this decided it for me... no more hobo sex."