reality rundown

Last night I spent some quality time on the couch watching some seriously crappy TV. I felt somewhat justified in doing so because I went to see legitimate theatre on Wednesday. I know that there is really no excuse for watching such drivel as My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance and Newlyweds, but I'm in for the long haul now and there's no stopping me... so please let my one night of theatre justify an entire week of my (what should be) secret shame.

Here are some of the stupid shows I watch and why I watch them:
My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance: This show didn't appeal to me too much when I saw the ads, it was finding out that the obnoxious fiance is actually an actor that got me in a tizzy of viewing. I kind of think that Fox missed the boat on this one by letting us in on the actor secret so soon. It would have been just as funny if we hadn't found out he was in on the whole joke until halfway through, then they could have re-aired the first few episodes and people would probably watch them again; now feeling smarter than the duped bride-to-be. Best part: watching Randi (the bride) squirm whenever Steve lets out that crazy yelp of a laugh and stares at her a little too long. Worst part: the host's eyebrows. She makes Phyllis Diller look like a make-up genius. I'm not committed to this show, but I adore a good improv actor.

Most Extreme Elimination Challenge: Take a wacky Japanese game show and don't translate it to English, just make up your own crap! Throw in a few fart jokes, references to alcohol and/or drugs and plenty of sexual innuendos and voila!, you've got a show for custom made for SpikeTV. MEEC is so low brow that it appealed to me (and Alex) on a whole new level. Apparently it's been around for awhile but it wasn't until last night that my desperate channel surfing brought me to it. If the voiceovers from the Iron Chef ever make you giggle then you're gonna love this. Here's a review if I've you're wanting more info. Best part: the voiceovers, it's so well written. Worst part: I got a little overwhelmed by the scatological humor a few times. I'm not sure if I'll watch this show again on purpose, but it was a good find while flipping.

Newlyweds: It's just plain amusing. Whoever edits this show is a genius. Best part: the pure goofiness of Jessica Simpson. Worst part: realizing that a 23 year old woman spends more on her husband's birthday than I make in a year. I'll probably watch the whole season of this show... how can I not, it occupies every other time slot on MTV.

The Apprentice: I think that Mark Burnett is pretty darn smart, I've been thinking it ever since I fell madly in love with Survivor. I thought it was brilliant that he took some of the best elements of Survivor but then gave Donald Trump (and the other producers) the power to keep the people that otherwise would have been voted off by peers. I was more into this show for the first two episodes, it's losing it's charm as of late. The women use their sex appeal for each challenge and frankly I find it degrading... but then I have to punch myself in the arm and say "It's freakin' reality TV! Don't be an idiot." There are some interesting people on this one and there's nothing more fun than watching people crack under pressure. I'm really missing this geek who got booted last week. Best part: Donald Trump's hair. Worst part: the whorish women. I'll tune in for next week's episode, but if I see one more belly button from any of those women while they're "working", I'm out.

American Idol: This show is a winner, especially for those with a short attention span. I don't think there's any reason for me to go further into this because let's face it... everyone has seen at least a commercial for this show... you get the jist. Best part: the desperation of the contestants. Worst part: I can't keep up with Paula Abdul's hair. I missed a lot of this season. How can I keep up when it's on every friggin night? Once they whittle it down to 10 I'm in. But once they get the group small enough so every contestant sings two songs it's all about the fast forward button.

There are more, but I'm starting to feel embarrassed. However, I will proudly add that I am skipping the Bachelorette this season and I've never watched Temptation Island. And of course I can't leave Survivor now, it's the All Star edition, that's a really bad time for me to go cold turkey.

I'm not trying to sell anyone on watching this stuff. I figure this is my chance to justify and confess for my sad, sad addiction. I try to believe that if I have an opinion and coherent thoughts about these reality shows then I must still be a smart person.... right?